Women's Matters
by Catann985
Summary: Three years after Arwen and Aragon wed and life goes on. Arwen hides a secret that is close to her heart, but does not know how to tell her husband. Her lady in waiting offers her advice on how to tell him.


Women's Matters

Lilmara walked through the courtyard perched high atop Minas Tirith. She looked over the wall where she could see the Pelennor Fields stretching out for miles until they reached the river and the mountains. She could still see the scars the war had caused the land, and if she looked towards the city, she could see the scars there as well. Three years after the downfall of the Enemy and still the city struggled to mend what had been broken. If she closed her eyes, she could see the hordes of Orcs that had come against the city, her home. She could still smell the stench of blood, of guts ripped open and spilled out, of burning buildings and burning bodies. She could still hear the screams of the dying.

The young noblewoman turned away from the view of the Pelennor Fields and looked towards the White Tree that once again flowered in the courtyard. She remembered coming here, to the court of the Stewarts of Gondor, as a young girl. The tree had been nothing more than a flowerless, leafless, lifeless dead thing, honored only for the memory of what had been. Now a new sapling of the White Tree bloomed, the old set aside in honor.

She left the courtyard, making her way though the passages of the hall of the kings to the healers quarters. Arwen, queen of Gondor, sat bathed in sunlight as she embroidered a tunic for her husband Elessar, the king. The queen was beautiful, with dark hair and soft gray eyes, her face unmarked by any disease or the ravages of time, her hands and fingers slim and graceful as they worked the material and threads. Lilmara always felt a like a pale, washout creature next to this lovely, almost god-like being.

"Lilmara" Arwen smiled at the young woman. "Come, sit with me, the sun is bright in the sky and warm against my face."

"It is indeed you Majesty." Lilmara sat down next to the queen and watched her as she neat even stitches to the design of leaves and vines taking shape on the tunic. Her needle flashing in the sunlight as it wove in and out of the fabric. "Have you told King Elessar yet?"

The needle stopped in mid stitch. "No, I am not yet sure and men do not handle women's matters well."

Women's matters. Kingdoms rose and fell; Great Houses lived and died because of women's matters. It has been three years since Arwen and Elessar had married and yet there was no heir. People remembered what had happened when the last king has died without a direct heir. It made them nervous that it could happen again.

"My lady, the king needs to know of your condition. Soon you will not be able to hide it from him. Nor should you. King Elessar should be here with you during this time. It is both his right and duty." Lilmara paused, looking at the pensive face of the woman before her. "Do you fear that he would not love a daughter should you have one instead of a son?"

"No that is not what I fear."

"Than what?"

"I do not know."

Lilmara reached over and picked up her own embroidery. The tapestry showed Shadow Fax caring Gandalf the White across the Pelennor Fields. The two women were silent as they sewed in the bright sunlight that filled the gardens of healing. Arwen would often pause, looking out over the wall to the plains below.

"Lilmara?"

"Yes Majesty?"

"Have you been around children before?"

"I am the eldest daughter in our family. I looked after the younger ones, especially after the death of my mother. Why do you ask Majesty?" Lilmara regarded the queen with puzzlement. Why would the queen ask her such a question?

"I have never spent time around babes or children. Elves have few children, and none have been born to us for almost three centuries. I have no knowledge of them or what to expect when I go the birthing bed."

"Majesty, Arwen." Lilmara got up and knelt in front of the queen. Taking Arwen's ice hands in her own, she looked up at the dark-haired woman. "Is that what has been upsetting you?" Lilmara asked as she genteelly rubbed the queen's cold hands.

"If you fear what will happen during the birth, why not send for Éowyn? She would be glade to bring her son Elboron with her. He is old enough to make the journey from Ithilien. And there are many children in Minas Tirith. You could meet them and gain some understanding of the babes."

"Have you born a child Lilmara?"

Lilmara stood up, looking away from the queen. She walked to the edge of the garden of healing. With her back still towards the queen she answered, "Yes Majesty. I had a lovely daughter. Her name was Glornla and she was fair and bright, always laughing as she ran down the corridors and halls of Minas Tirith." There was a slight quiver in her voice and a single tear formed in the corner of her eye.

"Where is your Glornla now?" Arwen asked the other woman in a gentle voice.

"She died."

Arwen waited. Lilmara did not want to talk about her daughter, but the queen had asked.

"Five years ago, my family and I went down to the river so Glornla and my youngest brothers might play in the shallows. The Corsairs found us that day. Glornla had wandered too far from our party, and when the foul raiders came upon us, I could not reach her in time." Lilmara's eyes were unseeing as she looked out over the walls to the great river, shining like mithril in the bright sunlight. "Jethanial, my youngest brother tried to snatch her back from the raider's clasp, but it was too late. When the Corsairs realized that one small maid would be their only prize they cut her throat and tossed her into the river."

Arwen stood and went to where Lilmara stood at the garden wall. "My sorrow for yours, Lilmara I did not mean to bring forth unhappy memories."

"They are not all memories are sorrowful ones, Majesty." Lilmara turned to look into Arwen's soft gray eyes. "I loved my daughter and I hope to one day have more children to help fill the halls of Minas Tirith with laughter again."

"Majesty," Lilmara took Arwen's hand in her own. "Men are not the only ones that can help rebuild a city. Yes, they work the stone and wood into buildings and towers, but that it not what makes a city great."

She turned and gestured out across the white stone walls of Minas Tirith. "If the whole of the city is filled with men thinking only of war, then it is not a great or joyful place. Children are the hope of the men. Children are what they fight to protect, not a city's walls."

Taking the queen's hand, she placed it on the slight swell of Arwen's waist. "Give King Elessar the joy of being a father. I have seen him watch the young ones playing in the streets with longing and hope in his eyes. Do not keep it from him."

Arwen kissed Lilmara's cheek. "You are right. I will tell him tonight in our chambers." She sighed. "Though if I do so, I will most likely not be allowed to leave the Healers' care for the next six months."

Lilmara laughed. "Just tell him to leave the women's matters to the women and we will endeavor to spirit you out of the garden of healing when he does not see."


End file.
